Week 21 - + 0.4 lbs - 208.0 - 55.4 lbs gone

Ugh!  My first gain, and it happens to be on my last week of the program.  I wish I could have lost a little, or stayed the same, but I didn't. 

I've been transitioning to food, and I went camping last weekend.  Camping was so much fun - the boys had a blast!  Optifast, however, kinda went by the wayside.  It was hard enough figuring out what to cook over an open fire for the family, never mind trying to figure out how to keep on plan.  I did do my best by bringing salads, but I have to admit I had a s'more or two.  And maybe a hot dog, or two.  And maybe a piece of bacon, or 5.

So, I'm now officially on Masters.  Knowing I can always go back to the groups if I need to is a great safety net, but I'm hoping Masters will be enough support. 

So, after 21 weeks, I'm down from 263.8 lbs to 208.0 lbs.
I've gone from a 20/22W to a 16 Misses.
My snoring is gone and my back pain is gone.

I feel good!

Week 20 - 207.6 - down 0.4 lbs - total 55.8

My weight loss is definitely slowing down, but I'm still loosing.  It's slowing down partly because it's harder to loose weight when you're smaller, and partly because I'm transitioning to food.  My transition to food is temporary - we're going on vacation, and it's easier to eat food than to carry shakes/bars with me.  So, I'm learning to eat again.  And with eating comes - shall we say - a laxity of the rules.  A nibble here, a bite there, maybe I'm not drinking enough water, maybe I'm not exercising like I should be - it all adds up to a smaller weight loss. 
But it's still a weight loss!
Next week is my last week on the modified program, then I'm on masters.  I'll still do the program, just on my own with a less stringent group setting.  I can do this!

Pic time!!

I love pic time.  It really keeps me motivated.  When the numbers are slow moving, I can look at the pictures and see exactly how far I've come.

                                                                             54 lbs gone!

 

 

I've gone from a 20/22W, to a 14W

 

 

 

Week 19 - 0.8 lb lost - 208.0 - total loss 55.4 lbs

Small loss this week, but it's still a loss.  I went to Olive Garden on Wednesday, so I woke up on Thursday with water retention.  I expected it.  No excuses, but I never knew how much salt is in restaurant food, and how many carbs are in those meals!  I really couldn't find an appropriate meal that kept me on program, so I had the soup, salad & breadsticks - only I didn't eat the soup, I had 3 servings of salad, and 1 breadstick.    Up until now, I've been able to find appropriate food at whatever restaurant we've visited. 

At my visit today, the doctor mentioned that my program ended on July 22nd.
Wait...what?

Up until then, the end of the program didn't even cross my mind.  I felt a little panicked - I mean, I've lost over 55 lbs, but I still have another 45 to go...I can't stop now!!

Apparently, it just means I have the option to go to Masters program, which is more of a maintenance group, and I get weighed in and see the doctor monthly.  I can still eat shakes/bars, I still get measured every 8 weeks, and see the nutritionist.  So, it's an opportunity for me to use the tools I have to keep up the weight loss, and then keep the weight off.

So, in 2 weeks, I'm going to leave the nest - to go to a bigger, less structured nest.

Week 18 - lost 1.2 lbs - 208.8 - down 54.6 lbs

I feel like this shouldn't count.
I weighed in on a different day, on an empty stomach.
I feel like I've been struggling the past couple of weeks.  The scale is creeping.......
So, instead of feeling bad, I sat down and decided to increase my exercise. I've lost almost 55 lbs, it's time to shake things up a bit!

week 17 - 210.0 - 53.4 lbs down - 1.5 lb loss

The scale is still moving, but it's definitely starting to slow down.  I figure I'm dealing with fat that has been with me since my early 20's.  It wants to hang around for a bit!

Measurements

I'm a numbers type of gal.  If I can measure something ( lbs, inches, etc), then I'm happy.  In my program, I get measured every 8 weeks.  I felt like the first 8 weeks took forever, but the 2nd 8 weeks was quick - next thing I knew, I was getting measured again. 

Original measurements               8 week measurements              16 week measurements     total loss:
    2/25/14                                      4/24/14                                          6/19/14
Weight - 262.2                                 233.8                                            211.5          

upper arm
    Left - 14.75                                   14.25                                          14                                    .75
    Right - 16                                      15                                               14                                      2

Forearm - 11                                      10.5                                            10.25                              .75(2)

Waist - 40                                          38                                               35.5                                 4.5

Abdomen 42.5                                   39                                               37                                     5.5

Hips - 53                                            49                                               47                                    6

Thigh - 29                                          26                                                24.5                                4.5 (2)

Calf - 19.5                                         19                                                 18.5                                 1 (2)



So, in 16 weeks, I have lost 50.7 lbs, and 31.25 inches.  That is over 2 1/2 feet of girth that is gone. 

Week 16 - 2.7 week loss - 51.9 loss - 211.5

I finally lost 50!
Apparently, TTOM had something to do with my little loss last week.

Next goal - get under 200....

Week 15 - 1.2 lbs - 49.2 lbs - 214.2

1.2 lbs.  1. freakin 2 lbs. 
I was angry with myself when I stepped on the scale.  I was angry because I knew the small loss was completely and utterly my fault. 
Why was it my fault?
The nibbling. 
I realized this week that another one of my food triggers is nice weather.
This week, the weather *finally* got really, really nice.  And apparently, then the weather is nice, I want to be a little lax on my eating. 
I can add up what I had that wasn't on plan:

Crusts of PB&J
A quarter of a grilled cheese
a couple of bites of lo mein
2 pieces of sweet and sour chicken.
.... and this is just what I can remember.

It doesn't sound like a lot, but apparently to me, it was. 

So, when the pity party was over, I sat down and realized that I have another trigger to work on.  Just because the weather is nice doesn't mean I can relax.

Back on the horse tomorrow - next week I'll hit that 50 mark!

Week 14 - down 2.2 lbs - 215.4 - total loss 48.0

Pretty decent loss this week. 
I'm noticing how angular I am.  My shoulders are more angular, and when I stretch, I see my ribs.  My collarbone is becoming more prominent.  and my legs are getting smaller. 

Last time I was this weight, I was 22 and in nursing school.

:-)

Pic time!

I love pic monkey.  What an great website!  My best friend in Georgia really wanted an updated picture of me, so I decided to have a little fun with pic monkey, and made these fun collages.


This is the before and after of my 45.8 lb loss  -  

 

                                               

 

                                                Before             33 lb loss          45.8 lb loss

 

 

 

 

Sometimes you don't notice the difference until you actually see the picture side by side.

 

 

 

So, I am 4.2 lbs away from a 50 lb weight loss.  I'm pushing myself to see how close I can get to that for next weigh in.  On full fast, I was loosing about 4 lbs/week, so it very well may take me 2 weeks, but I'm going to try!

Week 13 - Down 3.7 lbs - 45.8 lbs down 217.6 lbs

Ahhh, that's better.  That is the type of weight loss I'm used to. 
The fevers are gone, I'm drinking my water, and all is right with the world.

12 weeks - down 1.1 lbs - 42.1 lbs total. 221.3

Hmph.  1.1 lbs. 
Not stellar, seeing that I've been sick since Monday and could barely get the calories in.  Well, in all reality, I didn't get all the calories in. I know I didn't get my water in. 
But still, 1.1 lbs?  that's it??
Big picture - I've lost an average of 3.5 lbs/week. 
Well, this can happen.  I'm sure next week will be better.
I need to stay focused, and seeing that I've been spiking fevers all week, maybe have a few more calories to knock this thing once and for all!

Week 11 - down 3.4 lbs - total 41.0 lbs - 222.4

I've just completed week 11 on Optifast, and my first week on modified (3 shakes and 1 meal) and I lost!  I was really curious to see how much I could actually loose while eating, and I'm pleased with 3.4 lbs.

Personally, I'm so glad I did full fast first.  It completely broke my food habits.  It's nice to be able to eat food again, and I'm really glad to be out of ketosis (I was sick of eating mints all the time!), but I needed that break.  I needed to "reset" and to figure out other ways to deal with stress, boredom, etc.

It's more tempting to cheat now, but I haven't.  Every time I want to, I realize I haven't found a reason good enough to cheat.

Down another size!

Another victory!  The new pair of pants I bought 7 weeks ago are now way too big on me.  I tried on 16W, and they slipped right on!  So now, I have 3 new pairs of work pants and 1 new pair of jeans - and a couple more shirts from the misses side of the store.  

It was very motivating, seeing I switched to modified this week.  I never believed you could eat food and loose weight, but I guess you can!

week 10 - another 4 lb loss - 37.6 lbs - 225.8

10 weeks down - 37.6 lbs gone.  I feel awesome!  No back discomfort, my knees and hips aren't stiff.  I feel like it's just so much easier to move around.

I decided it's time to switch to modified. 

I'm a little nervous about it, because I have lost 4 lbs for 3 out of the past 4 weeks.  But, it's time. So, my chef husband and I went shopping, and after my weigh in today, he made me a yummy scallop, cod and green bean meal. 

5 oz of scallops, 1 oz of cod, and 6 oz (3 servings) of green beans.

I'm uncomfortably full right now. 

It's just a lot of volume.  I feel bloated.  Bleh.

I'm off to drink even more lemon water, and let my body remember how to digest food. 

9 weeks down - and 4 more pounds! 33.4 lbs - 229.8

I'm officially in the 220's!  Barely, but I'm there.
I'm going to do full fast for another 2-3 weeks, then transfer to modified. 
I'm told I can still loose weight while eating food.  I'm not sure I believe them, but it's time to try.

Numbers, Numbers, Inches and Pounds

Last Thursday was the completion of my 8th week on the program.  At my clinic, this is your 2nd measurement session.  The first was, of course, before I started the program.
I'm learning to look at more than just the scale, and I'm pretty happy with my measurements!

                                          Before                     After 8 weeks                Difference
Upper Arm - Left              14.75                       14.25                            0.5
Upper Arm - Right            16                            15                                 1
Forearm                              11                           10.5                              0.5 (x2)  1
Waist                                 40                             38                                 2
Abdomen                           42.5                         39                                 3.5
Hips                                   53                             49                                 4
Thigh                                 29                            26                                  3 (x2)  6
Calf                                    19.5                         19                                 0.5 (x2) 1

So, for my total INCHES lost in the past 8 weeks - 19!
For my total POUNDS lost in the past 8 weeks on the clinic scale 29.6
Total number of POUNDS lost in the past 8 weeks on my home scale (as of this morning) - 34.4

Sometimes when I'm looking too closely at it, it can seem like a small loss, or that it's taking too long, but when you look at the overall picture - I'm pretty pleased!

Week 8 - lost 1.8 lbs - total of 29.6 -233.8

This week, even though I exercised and had all my shakes with no cheating, I lost 1.8 lbs.  I was a bit disappointed - it's been my lowest lost so far.  But, looking on the bright side, I did loose 4 lbs last week. 
More importantly, I got some bad news, which normally would have immediately sent me to the fridge - but I had no urge to eat.  None.  Nada.  Such a huge milestone!  Now, I feel comfortable starting to think about transition. 
I feel like I'm going to be on FF for another 4 weeks, then start modified.

Now, I know I've lost weight, but sometimes you just can't tell how much.
I found the "before" picture from a trip to a friend's wedding.  I took the "after" picture today, after a friend in Ga. wanted to see my progress.
I have to say, I'm pretty shocked!

It's working! It's actually working!

I'm sure you're saying "duh, Michelle, look at your numbers!", but I really noticed a change in my body and clothes today. 
I weigh myself every day.  Many people don't, but I find if I weigh myself and I loose, I stay motivated.  If I don't loose weight, I know to drink more water and up the exercise today.  So, I weigh myself today, and it is 229.6.  I'm in the 220's!!!  Whoa!!!  I am less than 2 lbs away from the weight I was when I moved back to RI - 8 years ago. 

So, because I'm at the weight I was 8 years ago, does that mean I can fit into my clothes from 8 years ago?  No such luck!  Those clothes were from pre-twin era, which means pre-twin skin. 

I put on a pair of jeans today that I haven't worn in 6 or so years.  Remember when Lane Bryant decided to mess with their sizing, and the jeans were sizes 1,2,3,4,etc. instead of 14, 16, 18, 20?  Well, it's a pair of jeans from that era.  I slipped them on, I buttoned and zipped, and viola!  They fit!  I also put on a t-shirt which I lived in last summer, and now it's big and baggy.  I'm still wearing it, but it will soon go in the "too big" pile.  :-)

I'm even going down in my bra size! 

I just have such a hard time believing it!  I never thought it would happen, which is why I'm just in disbelief when I actually do loose weight and grow out of things. 

Week 7 - 4 lbs lost - Total of 27.8 - 235.6

I'm so close to 30 lbs! 
Sooooooo close!!!!!!!!!!!!

What a long, strange trip it's been....so far....

When I started on Optifast, I knew I would see physical changes, but I really wasn't prepared for the mental changes that come along with it.  These past 7 weeks have been eye opening to say the least.   Some of the major mental changes/challenges I've noticed are:

1)  Stress eating - I really had no clue just HOW MUCH I would stress eat.  It has been such a comfort to me over the years - It's something you truly don't realize the extent of it until you completely take food away. 

2)  Real hunger vs external triggers - Throughout these past 7 weeks, I'd smell/see/hear something that immediately triggered me to want to eat it.  When I would stop and say "am I really hungry?"  9 out of 10 times, the answer was "no".   

3)  Mindless munching - I've discovered something that I'm hoping won't be my downfall.  It started when I was trying to cook for my family.  It was a new recipe, and I needed to make sure it was okay.  I took a bite, chewed, and spit it out.  No calories were ingested, but I found that one bite of tasting something different made me feel more satisfied that day, helped with the ketosis breath/white tongue, and I still lost weight.  "Eureka!!" I thought.  So, almost every day, I feel like it's okay to chew and spit.  I noticed now I almost crave/expect it around 5 pm every night.  (worrisome issue #1).  I also found yesterday, I tasted 3 or 4 things.  (worrisome issue #2).  I know there is a reason that they don't want you to chew in the program, and all I can think is that it is so you don't have any association with food whatsoever, to help with the food relationship.   I decided to stop do this, unless absolutely necessary (to make sure it's something the kids can handle). 

4) Choices - when you take away the food option, you can really examine the food choices made in the past, and are making for our families.   I've become much more aware of what we put in our bodies.  Since starting this diet, I refuse to get the kids any type of fast food.  If we go out to eat, which I do still do with the kids, we will go to Panera Bread, or Corner Street Bakery.  If it has a drive up window, I stay away.  I've been concentrating on organic for the kids, and making more and more at home.  My new thing is pizza.  We would get pizza once a week, because it was something all 4 of us would eat. Now, I make it at home.  It's cheaper, and I know exactly what's in it.  This week, I'm even going to make my own dough.   I will have a maximum of 1 artificial sweetener a day, and some days I have none.  When I give the kids ice cream, I'll get Bryers - I can pronounce all of their ingredients.  Preparing food at home is a win/win/win situation - I know what's in it, it usually tastes better, and it's usually cheaper.

5)  Rewards - I realized very early on in this just how much we would reward with food.  "Do this and you'll get a candy."  "Do that and you'll get a doughnut".  This was something I put the stops to early on.  It was easy for me, but harder for my mother and my in-laws.  I still don't think they understand fully why I'm asking them not to, but they're trying to follow it. 

I was debating when to go from full fast to modified, and I've decided to wait to at least 12-16 weeks.  I don't think I'm mentally ready for it yet. 

So yes, this journey is physical, but it's so much more mental then I thought.  NOW these meetings make sense!

239.6 - a total of 23.8 lost

I broke the 230's!  Yay! 
At this point, I have to say, I'm running out of steam on Full Fast.  I told myself I'd stay on full fast for 12 weeks, but I'm not sure now.  I think the last 2 weeks of loosing less than 3 lbs is really tough.  The weather is finally warmer, and I think that has something to do with it, too.  I'm not craving carbs, or ice cream, or anything like that - just chicken and other stuff on the grill.
But for now, I'm going to stay on Full Fast. 
I'm 6 wks in, 6 more to go. 

So, I think - "when was I last at this weight?"

I remember 244 - I was working as a CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife) - working about 85+ hrs a week, up at all hours of the night.  That was about 7 years ago.

Last time I was 239, it was my first year back to RI from Atlanta, that summer.  I remember renting a beach house and for 3 days straight, just laid on the couch.  I didn't even have the energy to answer the phone.  I was completely and utterly burnt out on life.  Mom had finished her first bout of cancer (of course, we didn't know it was the 1st - we thought it was the only). in 8 months, I had gotten married, gotten a new job in my new career was a CNM, mom got diagnosed with cancer, I quit my new job as a CNM after 4 weeks, rented out our house in Ga, moved to RI, got a new job as a CNM, I was absolutely exhausted!
I remember when I finally got off the couch, I enjoyed riding bikes, grilling, swimming, and just loving summer. 
I got back and weighed myself and I had gained 10 lbs. 
10 lbs!  Geez Louise!!

I feel like seeing my weight go down is like a time capsule.

I can do this!!

242.2 - officially lost 21.2 lbs

This week was much easier than last.  I'm not sure if it's because it is now my 2nd week in my new job, if it's hormones, or I've just snapped out of it.  Whatever the reason, I'm feeling much better now. 
So, I've officially hit the 20 lb mark!  I wanted to do something special to celebrate - what should I do?
What I wanted to do:  I first thought of getting a fitbit, seeing that I feel like I'm moving at my new job much more than I was at my old job, and it would be neat to see how far I actually walk.
What I actually did:  Got new breaks and headlights. 
Motivating, right?  Well, I came home and found out the car's trip to the shop cost $780.  Ouch!
I did decide, however, to join in on the kids' Easter pictures on Saturday.  What better way to celebrate a 20+ lb weight loss than by a really awesome pic of me and my sons. 
I think I'll enjoy that more than anything.

Interesting dream last night...

I'm a food addict.  I know this.  I overeat when I'm happy, sad, stressed, anxious, the day ends with a 'y' - any excuse will do. 
I always thought me going on a "diet" or "healthy eating plan" was like telling an alcoholic "don't drink alcohol, but you have to drink beer every day." 
Except now.
I feel the physical part is covered - 5 shakes a day. 
I now have to work on the emotional/mental part.  That was a tough cookie to crack.
I think I've hit a turning point. 
I had a dream that I was eating a slice of pepperoni pizza.  First thing I thought was "Oh no - I've broke ketosis!".  So, I was eating pizza, and I realized it wasn't fabulous.  So, I threw out the rest of the slice, and said to myself "This isn't very good.  I don't need to finish this."
In real life, I wouldn't have done that in the past.  I would have blown it and given up.
Does this mean I'm changing my mindset?
I think so...

244.6 - another 3 lbs

I'm up to a total of 18.8 loss.  I'm pretty sure it would have been more, but I had to change my weigh in from Tues AM to Thurs PM due to work.  That's okay - it's still a loss, and I'm getting there!

It's been a rough week, comparatively speaking to the rest of my time on Optifast.  I feel it was due to the new job, and the boys' first day at preschool, but I've been hungry, and loosing steam.  I feel next week will be better, and more motivation to stay on track.

BTW, the boys did GREAT at preschool.  I was the one who cried when I dropped them off, and then on and off for the next 2 hours.  Yes, I'm that mom.  ;-)

All right, I'm off to the last day of my first full week at the new job.  Yay!

Little things I've noticed in the past 4 weeks

Yesterday was the official end of 4th week/beginning of 5th week on Optifast.  I normally weight in on Tuesdays, but I had to change my official weigh in day to Thursday due to my new job.  (yay new job!)
I know it's stress related, but I've really been craving food for the past week.  I'm not hungry - I just want to eat food.  That is what got me into this mess in the first place!
Is it truly stress related, though?  Or, is it the fact that I've had the same flavors of food for the past 4 weeks.  Could be both.

Here are some things I've realized/noticed since starting Optifast

1)  Distraction works wonders. 

2)  Staying hydrated really makes a difference in my hunger level/weight loss

3)  Homemade no sodium chicken broth is a perfect way to get a little savory yumminess into your day - and helps with fluid intake!

4)  I NEED to find ways to deal with stress when I'm in a stressful situation.  Like a new job.  Which I have.  Now. 

5)  When I get hungry, that is my weakest time and when I want to cheat.  You can put a plate of nachos in front of me when I'm not hungry and I'm fine.  If I'm hungry and you put spam in front of me, I'm going to want it like a filet mignon. 

I've also seen some physical changes in me that are pretty darn cool -

6)  My 1 pair of pants - that were getting tight on me 4 weeks ago - now need to be tailored.  I wore them on Monday, and spent the entire day pulling them up.  :-)

7)  I had to go to the middle set of hooks on my bras.  Now, this may not seem like a big deal, but they were actually getting too big on me.  I've never, ever gone to the middle set of hooks. 

8)  My new pants that I bought 1 week ago that were a little tight now are much more comfortable this week.  In 1 WEEK!! 

On an entirely different note, but will fall under the "stress" category - my babies start preschool today.  They'll be fine, I'm sure, but I'm a flippin mess.  I made sure their first day was a day that I was out of work, so if they needed me I could run down and get them.  Hover mom?  Yup!

Okay, I'll let you know tomorrow about my 4th week weigh in!

Hungry, Hungry, Hungry........

So, I'm in the middle of week 4, and I'm starving.  I'm so hungry, in fact, that I had trouble falling asleep last night.  I'm not sure if this is common for week 4, or if it has to do with the extra stress I am under this week.  I started a new job on Monday, and left a job I've been at for 6 years on Friday.  I struggled at the beginning of the week wanting to eat as many nachos as I could fit in a wheel barrel.  How many nachos did I eat?  None.  Not a one. 
Friday, my last day at work, my co-workers were sweet and got me an Edible Arrangements.  Once again, I didn't eat any.  I had my 5 shakes and my water.  Last night, as I was sitting there with my stomach growling, I didn't know what to do.  Water wasn't cutting it - my stomach wanted a steak.  Eventually I was able to fall asleep after about an hour and a half. 
I haven't been this hungry since week 1.
Today is a new day - lets hope I don't have to white knuckle it today!

Week 3 weigh in - 247.6 - total loss: 15.8 lbs!

I was soooo happy with my week 3 weigh in! 

This is farther than I've ever gotten with Weight Watchers, South Beach Diet, or anything else I've tried. 

It has been a pretty stressful few days, and I didn't realize just HOW MUCH I use food when I'm stressed. 

On Monday, I started my new job.  By 2 pm, I wanted to eat everything in sight.   Was I hungry?  Nope - I was just stressed.  I just wanted cheese and nachos.  Lots and lots and lots of cheese and nachos. 

So, what did I eat?  Nothing.  Nothing at all.  Was I satisfied?  No.  Not at all. 
I realized I have no other tools to deal with my stress.  So, I went home, changed into my sweats, sat on the bed with my kids and just felt miserable. 

Today, it happened again - I had so many forms to fill out for hospital privileges - all the same information but slightly different.  I wanted to eat.  Did I eat?  Nope. 
I did, however, just get up and walk away for a minute or two - just to de-stress.

I really have to find some good coping skills.

Almost done with week 2 (this should have posted on 3/10 - ooops!!)

I weigh in tomorrow.  I did really well this week, and yesterday I felt really, really good.  I actually had to remind myself to drink my shake (that has never happened.  ever.).  I thought I was getting sick, or the time change, or something. 
I'm finding I want to eat out of habit, and not necessarily because I'm hungry.  800 calories and about 100 oz of water apparently does the trick on keeping me full!

I have a schedule

when I get up - 16 oz tea
9:30 - 1st shake
12:30 - 2nd shake
3:30 - 3rd shake
6 pm - soup
9 pm - last shake.

I bought a 20 oz water bottle, and I drink at least 2 of them a day, along with a 20 oz lifewater.  and sometimes (like tonight) no sodium broth I made myself. 

Today, I'm up to 92 oz of fluid. 

I'm buying stock in toilet paper. 

Tomorrow will be my weigh in.  I'm sure it will be fine, because I didn't cheat.  I stayed on the plan.
I wanted to cheat.  I had a couple of stressful moments, that I just wanted to devour a pizza, but I didn't.  I really, really wanted to.

I was talking to my boss today, and I was explaining every other time I lost weight, it felt like an elastic band.  The more weight I lost, the more the elastic band stretched, just wanting to jolt me back to my original weight.  It doesn't feel like that this time.  I'm not sure if it's the ketones, or what.  But, I'm hopeful it's going to work.

See you tomorrow!

Week 2 - 251.6 - down 11.8 lbs!

Sorry!  I thought I already posted this - apparently not (haha)!

So, week 2 I stepped on the scale (on 3/11) and down another 3 lbs.  I'll take it!

At the end of week 2, I was doing better.  Very little dizziness, but I wanted to eat.  I realized it wasn't because I was hungry, I just remember what things taste like and I wanted to taste them. 
What did I do?  I distracted myself, and drank water. 
What did I want to do?  Eat pizza. 
But, I didn't.
Go me!

People are starting to notice the weight loss.  I had one co-worker ask if I was okay, because he noticed the weight loss.  I told him "Absolutely!" and  - on to tell him about the program. 

I'm finding I've been getting hungry and watching the clock 45 minutes before my next shake is due.  I just drink water, and try to distract myself. 

Some people distract themselves with fun things, like going for a walk, knitting, reading a book, etc.  I don't have time for that - I work and have 2 preschoolers. 
When I'm working, I figure out how many more patients I need to see before I can eat.
It doesn't seem to happen too much at home - I guess because I'm running around with the kids.

I'm still trying to get my footing with this program, and at this point I felt comfortable eating with people other than my family.

First, I took my kids to lunch at Corner Street Bakery (for those who don't know what that is, it's very similar to Panera Bread).  I ordered for the kids, got myself a caffeine free diet coke (which, btw, tasted horrible and I couldn't finish it.) and we sat down and they ate and I drank my shake.  It was nice to eat in a public place and feel comfortable drinking the shake.  The boys loved it (what 3 year old DOESN'T like PB &J?) and I felt it was a hurdle I was able to jump.

I felt like I could move on to the next step - eating with adults.  Later on last week, I had lunch with some co-workers.  Usually, due to our scheduling, I would eat alone.  I was fine with that - I had my water bottle and kindle, found a comfy place and relaxed.  Now, I was with 2 other people a the table - who were eating real food - and I sat there with my hot tea.  It wasn't awkward at all - I was surprised!  I think because I wasn't hungry, I wasn't tempted. 

Last but not least, I exercised for the first time today.  Only 20 minutes on the treadmill, but I didn't want to start out too much all at once.  I felt fine - kept my HR in the 120s - 130s.  I felt like my HR went up more running with the boys at the playground today - but that's just an added bonus, I guess!

Week 2 done....check
Eating at a restaurant....check
Eating with other adults.....check
exercised.....check

Oh, and by my home scale today (4 days after my official weight in) I'm down to 247.4 - 16.2 lbs down. 
Just sayin.

254.6 - Week 1 - down 8.8 lbs!

I survived the first week of Optifast!

Day 5 - Much better!  Took the kids out mini golfing, and brought a shake with me. Felt good.

Day 6 - Feeling great!  I feel so good, I wonder just how carb sensitive I am, seeing I feel so good off of carbs.  I also wonder how many calories I need, because I'm doing great on 800, and I know I was eating many, many more calories a day before this.
I actually missed a shake, so I doubled up in the evening.  I had a strawberry chocolate shake, and it was delicious!

Day 7 - Worked.  I was very calm today.  Calmer than I have been.  Is it the lack of carbs?  The weight loss?  The ketosis?  I'm not sure, but I like it.

Day 8 - Today - weigh in made me happy.  I expect a very small loss next week, but I decent one the week after that.  There is a woman in my group that lost 24 lbs in 4 wks.  I wouldn't even know what to do with myself with that type of a weight loss!  I find myself excited to see the weight come off, and just be a smaller person. 
I'm so proud of myself today - it's my birthday and my husband still bought a cake for he and the kids to enjoy.  I didn't have any.  Not a single. solitary. crumb.  :-)

This week, towards the end of the week, I'm going to start exercising.  No more than 30 minutes on the treadmill. 

Yay!

Days 1-4 - a review of Optifast Full Fast

I meant to do 4 individual posts, but this is the first time I could actually sit down at my computer.  Here are the first 4 days -

Day 1 - Lets just shock the system!  I ended up eating food for breakfast - kind of a "requiem for a meal",  and then went to my appointment at 10 am and started at that point.  I had 3 shakes that day.  I was ravenously hungry, and completely white knuckled it in the evening.  Ended up going to bed early so I didn't have to deal with the hunger.   Hunger scale - 10/10 (I wanted to eat my own arm-type hungry)

Day 2 - A bit shaky (no pun intended!!  Okay, maybe a little pun intended.). I was afraid I would have woken up in the middle of the night starving, but I didn't.  I even woke up because my son needed an emergency monster truck fix ("Mommy, I need my Spiderman truck!!") at 3:30 am.  I was able to go right back to sleep.  I was hungry, but not like day 1.  I pretty much drank and peed all day.  I was counting the seconds to my next shake.  I'm glad I didn't work.  I did have to go into my own business, but by 6 pm I just couldn't function.  I was tired, freezing and thirsty.  I went to bed at 9.  Hunger level - 8/10

Day 3 - I had to work today - 10 hours.  I made sure I had all my fluids and shakes with me, and I told my boss what I was doing, so if I had to make frequent bathroom breaks, and stop every few hours for a shake, she knew what was going on.  I was really tired by the end of the day.  I also had to stay 45 minutes later than expected, which threw off my shake schedule.  I ended up getting extra hungry, and inhaled my soup for supper.  I then got a headache because I was so hungry, and went to bed early again after taking some ibuprofen and snapping at my mom for calling me up to tell me what she had for supper (so sorry, Mom!!)
I got a call during the day from the nutritionist just checking in on me.  I was so glad she called!  I had a ton of questions to ask her.  I found out I can have low sodium broth, which is great, to cut the sweetness of the shakes.  It made me feel more secure.   Hunger Level -7/10

Day 4 - I had to work today, but I was going to breakfast with my mom first.  Proper planning was the trick here.  I had to drop the kids off at their morning class first, I was tired in the morning, but nothing unbearable.  I mixed my shake right before I left in my new Oster personal blender, grabbed a straw and I was on my way!  I did end up being late to the class, but they're 3 - I'm sure it won't effect graduation ;-).  I brought my mom to a local coffee shop, and I had a large tea with Sweet N Low, and she had a coffee.  It was really nice, and I drank my shake and my tea.  I then went to work, and I had a slow day because I had time to do paperwork.  Just what  needed - a day where I wasn't killing myself seeing 24 patients in 5 hours.  I was able to stop and have my shakes when I needed it, and drink plenty of water.  I really started to feel good this afternoon, so much so that I didn't start feeling hungry until 3:10, and I had my shake at 3:30.  Then, when I got home, I wasn't hungry for my soup - but I had it anyway.  I added some pepper to my chicken soup, and it tasted much better.  I was dreading having to eat that straight again!  Hunger level - 4/10.

I was told that the first 5 days are the worst.  I'm so happy I'm at the end of day 4!  I'm going to remember this, because if I break the fast, and I have to go through this again, I may just jump off a bridge!

263.6 - time to pull out the big guns

It's been over a year since I posted, mainly because I was just maintaining.  Not really trying, not really NOT trying, just staying the same.
Then I started a new job, and the pounds started packing on - and staying a while.
I left that job after only a few months, but left with an extra 5 lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight.  Now, I know what you're saying "So what - 5 lbs - boo hoo!"  But to me, that was the number I always felt like - as long as I was under my pre pregnancy weight, I'd be okay.  I wasn't under there anymore.  It was not okay.
I felt like those stupid 5 lbs actually made my knees hurt. 
My clothes don't fit.
5. Stupid. Pounds.

So....I completely pulled out the big guns and I started Optifast today.  It's a all liquid diet - medically supervised - through one of our local hospitals.  There were 3 options - 1)  a 1200 calorie diet of healthy foods, 2) 3 shakes a day, and 1 meal, or 3)  5 shakes a day. 
I chose 5 shakes a day.
Go big or go home, right?

Well, it's my first day and I'm white knuckling it right now.  I have 1 more shake to drink, but I'm trying to hold off so I don't wake up at 2 am starving.

I'm going to do this as long as I can - as long as I can stand it. 

I'm told it gets easier.

I hope so